The mandate trap: Why being the corporate messenger is killing your credibility

You're sitting in that meeting room, listening to the VP explain the new policy that's going to piss off your entire team. Your stomach drops. You know exactly how this plays out.

Tomorrow, you'll stand in front of your engineers and deliver this steaming pile of corporate nonsense with a straight face. "The company has decided..." you'll say, while watching their trust in you evaporate in real-time.

Suddenly, you're not just managing code and sprints. You're managing the impossible balance between being authentic with your team and being a "good soldier" for the company.

And most of us are absolutely terrible at it.

The loyalty test nobody talks about

Every mandate you're forced to communicate is actually a test.

But not of your communication skills… that's the easy part. It's a test of where your loyalty lies, and everyone's watching.

• Your team is watching to see if you'll throw them under the bus.

• Your boss is watching to see if you'll toe the company line.

You're stuck in the middle, trying to maintain credibility with both sides while your soul slowly dies.

I learned this the hard way at my last startup. The CEO decided we were pivoting from our core product - the one my team had spent 18 months perfecting - to chase some shiny new trend.

And my job was to sell this pivot to a team that had poured their hearts into work that was about to be shelved. I wasn't sure about this decision. Maybe due to my emotional attachment to the project, or maybe because I couldn't logically connect the dots

So I tried the corporate spokesperson route. Used all the right words. "Strategic realignment." "Market opportunities." "Exciting new direction."

In the same week, I had a 1:1 with my lead engineer - she was a very influential and respected professional -, and I thought it was a great opportunity to do some temperature check about the decision. “It sucks, but okay… let's do it”, she said cynically. I knew something was off.

“Yeah, I know that… we have to do it. But what do you really think about it? I'm feeling super frustrated,” I said, looking for confirmation. I was hungry for validation, to share how I was feeling.

My lead engineer looked me dead in the eye and said, "I thought you were different.“ Luckily, we had built a great relationship, and she was known for not sugarcoating sensitive topics. I knew something good was coming.

“After all the work we put into this, I feel awful for closing the project with just ‘because they decided.‘ Anna, wrapped up… she was sharp.

That stung more than any performance review ever could.

I was just broadcasting a message that I couldn't stand behind… with spices of toxicity. In my mind, I was doing something that would connect me to my team… but I was wrong.

The three types of mandate messengers(and why they all fail)

After collecting bad messages for a while, but also from making mandates myself, I observed three types os middle-management messengers:

• The corporate puppet: Delivers every mandate with fake enthusiasm. "This is actually a great opportunity for us!" Nobody buys it. Your team starts treating you like just another suit, and information stops flowing up.

• The rebel: Makes it clear they disagree. "Look, I think this is stupid too, but we have to do it." Congratulations, you've just undermined your own authority and painted a target on your back.

• The Diplomat: Tries to find middle ground. "I understand the concerns, but let's see how we can make this work." Sounds reasonable, but you end up pleasing nobody and exhausting yourself with mental gymnastics.

I've been all three. They all suck.

The fourth way: Radical transparency (with boundaries)

But here is what I've found that actually works, though most leadership books won't tell you this:

Stop pretending you have more power than you do.

Your team already knows you didn't make this decision. They know you're just the messenger. The question is: what kind of messenger are you going to be?

The best tech leaders I've worked with do something counterintuitive. They acknowledge the elephant in the room without making it about them.

"Here's what's been decided and why. I know this impacts our current work. Let's talk through what this means for each of you and how we can navigate it."

No fake enthusiasm. No throwing leadership under the bus. No pretending you have influence you don't have.

Just straight talk about reality. Period.

The credibility bank account

Think of your credibility like a bank account. Every interaction either deposits or withdraws from it.

• When you deliver a popular decision, that's a small deposit.

• When you deliver an unpopular one authentically, backed with the purpose, no-BS, acknowledging and discussing how it really impacts people and business around you, that's actually a larger deposit… if you do it right.

But when you deliver an unpopular decision inauthentically? That's a massive withdrawal.

And unlike money, credibility compounds negatively. Once your team stops trusting you, everything gets harder.

The brutal truth? Sometimes the best thing you can do is acknowledge that a decision sucks while still moving forward. Your team doesn't need you to be their friend. They need you to be real.

The career calculus nobody mentions

Every mandate you communicate is also a career decision.

• Push back too hard, too often? You're "not leadership material."

• Never push back? You're spineless, and good engineers will leave.

The sweet spot is knowing which hills to die on. And despite what LinkedIn influencers tell you, most hills aren't worth it.

I've watched brilliant engineering managers torpedo their careers by fighting every single decision, with the illusion they were pushing a world-class people-oriented and business-centric approach.

I've also watched others become empty suits, parroting corporate speak until their teams despise them. The fake ultra-value delivery leader.

The survivors? They pick their battles carefully. They push back behind closed doors on the stuff that really matters. And when they lose those battles, they find ways to implement decisions that minimize damage to their teams.

It's not heroic. It's not inspiring. But it's real.

The bottom line

Being the mandate messenger is part of the job you signed up for when you moved into leadership. It's not going away.

But you get to choose how you play the game.

You can pretend every corporate decision is brilliant. You can rage against the machine. You can tie yourself in knots trying to please everyone.

Or you can accept that this is part of the gig, be as authentic as the situation allows, and focus on what you can actually control: how you support your team through the nonsense.

At the end of the day, your team doesn't need you to be a hero. They need you to be honest about what you can and can't change, and then help them succeed anyway.

That's not selling out. That's growing up.

And if you can't stomach that reality? That's fine too.

But maybe it's time to admit that leadership isn't for you. There's no shame in being an exceptional IC who doesn't have to deliver messages they don't believe in.

The shame is in pretending you're something you're not.

-- Rapha